Krieger-Dichter was the only member to respond to last month's prompt, but that is not the only reason they are being featured here today! They took a a lovely approach to the prompt, getting across what they set off to with simple imagery and and very few words. This sort of imagery is common among their pieces. Check them out!
RebirthYou have been under water far too long now. Seconds have stretched into hours. You jump toward the surface with all your might. As you surface, cool, clean air fills your lungs. You can feel nothing but joy. That is what rebirth feels like.
Their response to the prompt. The theme is gotten across very nicely and incredibly simply in only two lines of writing. It's so short that in order to do it any sort of justice in quoting, I would have to quote the entire piece.
Five Poems of LifeI think deeply in my sorrow,
because for me there is no tomorrow.
Tomorrow won’t come because there is no today.
I'm stuck out of time with no re-entrance way.
The truths about the lies in your life aren’t outside of you,
they are hiding deep inside you,
so deep that you seem blind,
you’d do well to keep that in mind.
From a world of darkness and hate,
comes a creature born of Fate,
without hesitation it swallows your soul,
taking it as payment for your life’s toll.
This troubled mind can never sleep,
these sorrowed eyes will always weep.
I cry at night and pray all day,
but my tortured soul has no say.
I’ve done a lot that no one can forgive,
so many moments I should relive.
But I’ve lost all will to try,
so I’ll just lay my head and die.
Five Poems of Life.
"I think deeply in my sorrow, because for me there is no tomorrow."
Very well constructed. This piece is striking in that each stanza can really stand alone, but the piece as a whole fits together so nicely. It gets across depression in a way that is a bit different from what is typical. it works.
NONE of the pieces in the Peer Critique folder got ANY critiques or comments from members. So rather than what I hope will become usual, I'm going to feature the pieces that were in the folder! Be sure to check them out, and get these lovely people the critique that they asked for!
Cutter 'what are you scared of?'
she was too pale to be held against the sun: so she leans against it until you can't see her face.
her eyes were chalk-smudges on blackboards, blurred against a backdrop of white-washed walls. her outline was all fade-out and lace, as white as winter could be.
her words were quiet like stains are, clinging to a curtain in the window. just trying to blend into the pattern, or at least not become part of it.
and when she breathes her chest swells with see-through lungs--hoping that if you focus, you'll see right through her glass skin. after all, she's just a smudge of the wrong varnish in your eyes.
she shudders, and tastes all that's hollow drip down her wrist. and today, it looks grey instead of saccharine. regret honey-fills the cracks in her over-dried lips and ice-splintered skin. inklings of every word she forgot how to say. since, of course, they never made it past dead-deaf ears anyways.
knowing you'll never notice she's crying. crying for ever
Hard to gain.
But easily lost.
The effects will always remain.
Unless we pay the cost.
Instead of abiding by the same
My Best Friend Tommy Complete (For Now)"I woke up early! I never wake up early! And here I am up four hours before I'd normally be and two before I have to be." A man said as he sat at the counter and looked at a menu.
"What's got you so worked up?" The waitress asked.
" I know it's not your job but I just need to talk to someone, a lot's going on" the man said.
"I'm a psych major and this is great practice. In fact, I took this job to listen to people bitch. Just make sure to leave a good tip" the Waitress said.
"Ok, thanks. I'll have a western omelet, a pumpernickel bagel toasted with cream cheese and locks, white toast coffee with room for cream and an orange juice," the man said.
"I'll have it up for you in a sec" the waitress said.
"Well, my best friend is getting married today," the man said.
"Best man?" the waitress asked.
"Well, it's a little more complicated than that," the man said.
A long long time ago in a strange place called the 1990s, a classic boy-meets-girl love story happened. And ar
Fear not, one of the admins will get you a critique as soon as we can!
Leave us a comment and let us know what you think. If you would like to be featured, all you have to do is become an active member of the group!
Please follow the group Twitter account PowerfulWriting